Do you live with constant to-do lists that grow no matter how hard you work? Would you like to paint or draw more? Do you want more time off? Or maybe you have your own small business that you’d like to see grow but it’s so difficult because you’re drowning in emails, Instagram, stress or worry?
For what it’s worth, you are not alone. I have spent a LOT of time in that zone, and I know it can be changed. I have worked as a manager in a large company, as a coach and as a self-employed person, which means that I have accumulated some experiences and ideas that have created the system I have been working with for the last few years. Without my own structure, I would never have been where I am today. I might have managed to stay afloat for a while because I’m usually lucky, but I would never have been able to develop myself or my business, and most importantly, I would be much more stressed and never be able to take much time off.
Well, easy for you to say, you think, and yes, maybe it is. But then you should know that:
- I am not a structured person at heart
- I hate structure
And
- I think that structured people can be aptrista
Men
As I said, I’ve tried the other thing: working all the time and still not checking off half the things on the list, always feeling inadequate and anxious and never really being able to relax, and the result of that is a lot of hard-earned life experience and a kind of rusty? brain and not much else, and I don’t really recommend it to anyone.
So, when I left the World of Big Business and started my own (small) company, I decided to work as little as possible, because there are so many other things I enjoy doing and people I want to spend time with, and I set out to find information and reflect and test like hell. You can get some of the results here – and they can be applied whether you’re working, studying or just want a little more time in your life.
However, it is important to say that this is not a “if I can do it, you can do it” message. Oh, how I hate them, those cheeky life coach cries that assume, without a hint of humility, that everyone’s circumstances are the same. Of course they are not. No, this is mostly a bunch of collected insights that worked for my person, in my life – keeping in mind that I am a privileged white person with the opportunity to control my own workday and have a supportive husband who does his part in everyday life. We are healthy and have jobs and support around us. This is not the case for everyone.
But having said that, I hope there are things here that will help you. Let’s dip our toes into the structural pond in eight different places. There’s a lot more to say about this, of course, but these things have been the most crucial for me. Well, here we go:
1.Get yourself a notebook, man
First of all, IF you don’t already have at least a shelf meter of pristine, porky notebooks – who are you? Before any kind of structure can be created, you have to try to get an overview of your situation*, which is best done with paper and pencil, if you ask me. Until you know what to do and what not to do, everything has to be put down on paper. Everything. The notebook will then also be used for the planning that you do, week by week, and also as a place for all the ideas that pop up in your head, all your lists, your “right, I mustn’t forget” things – tutti. If it’s in the book, you can create a structure out of it. You can’t if it’s just in your head. Believe me, I have tried.
*here I had first intended to write “ass seat” because it is often not a funny seat that makes you dive into such a shitty long newsletter, but then I realized that it could be misunderstood or cause irritation, so I changed it.
Does seeing the many, many things you need to do in one place make you tired or anxious? I understand. And so we move on to No 2:
2.You will not have time
Okay, here’s something as important as it is annoying: When you see everything you wrote, realize that you will never win the war against making the list. You’re not going to be able to do all the things you want to do, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to start by taking out the machete and cutting the hell out of it. It means that you will disappoint people (perhaps most of all yourself), you will put other people in the shit because of it. that, and you’ll make a mess of things in general from time to time when you cancel, say no, avoid or delegate, but YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT ANYWAY because what you want to do in the next few weeks or months is probably almost impossible to do without sacrificing the things that are actually more important. Do not do that. If you are faced with the choice of failing others or failing yourself, always choose others.
If it is overwhelming in your job, you need to take it up with your manager. Your workload is too high and it doesn’t help that you sacrifice yourself on the martyrs’ square here, things don’t get done if you are exhausted and they are not meant to be done at the expense of your health, your leisure time, your family, your inner peace. Plus, if you work your ass off, the only reward you’ll usually get is *tadaa* more work. Right? So: what should be removed? And you – it doesn’t just apply to employees. Even the self-employed can take it up with their boss.
3.Distinguish between deep work and surface work
Here we have the revolution for me, the most important insight for getting ahead at work, in my hobby or whatever. You should divide things into two different parts: deep work and surface work.
In-depth jobs
Are the most important things, the core business, the things that require a bit more time and focus, but will get me where I want to go. I work on this in the morning when my head is reasonably calm and rested, and mind you: I ONLY work on this. Nothing else. No phone, no emails. Nada. Only deep work between 8-13.
Surface jobs
Are all those little things: emails, orders, payments, IG, errands, meetings. You know, all that stuff that tends to crowd out the all-important deep work band. I do these in less than one or two hours in the afternoon, when my head is still busier and more tired. My time is limited, so I can’t do everything, but that’s okay (answering emails within 24 hours is not the core business of my company). And you, forget about distractions.
It’s so easy to feel that surface job stuff is more important (have to answer this seven emails before I can start the report) but herein lies the whole essence of why lives, workloads and relationships are falling apart, I think. Because they are not, and just because something is urgent does not mean it is important! People survive waiting for an email, but a business may not survive missing the core business: what made you take the job or start your business or your hobby or your family members.
4.Make friends with discipline
Regarding deep work: just because it’s something you’re passionate about, that’s really important to you, it doesn’t mean it’s easy, quite the opposite. Scrolling IG is easy, working stubbornly for four hours on something complex DEMANDS a hell of a lot from you. It’s a real workout, don’t get me wrong, and you’ll notice how your attention is panicking and wanting to escape (gotta check that thing on insta, gotta check the calendar, emails, eat a sandwich, go to the bathroom, whatever, as long as I don’t have to stay here). RESIST. Focus can be trained, but it is impossible if you give in to distractions all the time.
5.Plan more
A quick refresher: Write everything down and sift through the items to select the few things that are most important to you, then plan them into the deep work parts of the week in your notebook, and
Hold.
Dig.
To.
The plan.
You can do the surface work in the time you have left, that’s all.
How does this structural fascism fit in with that wonderful creative life I mentioned earlier? Well, I can, want to and have the energy to be creative and come up with ideas because I get what I need done and because I have an overview and don’t have to worry about hiding anything. And hey, it’s not just boring stuff in this schedule in my notebook, I’ve written in pure playgrounds too: just drawing, diving into some new fun technology, going to the library and checking letters in book titles, reading fun books. It fits because it is important and because I have cut down on what I thought I had to do, and worked through what I really need to do.
6.Keep your foot on the gas
Keep going. Going forward. I know, there are so many other things that can get in the way, and sometimes you absolutely have to change your plans, postpone something to focus on something else. But if you cut out a lot of things and keep only the most important ones and plan them well, that doesn’t happen very often, believe me. And again, because it is educational to repeat a few important things: just because something is new and urgent does not automatically mean it is important.
7.Shielding the screen
Okay, sweetheart. I’m sorry, but we need to talk about the almighty telephone.
It kidnaps your attention and it does it well. It’s not your fault, the apps are designed by super talented scientists to do just that, because that’s how Zuckerberg & co make money. So there’s a real war for your attention and all bets are off to get you to spend time watching a puppy play or a fictional political plot instead of doing what you had planned to do, and the more you let yourself be drawn in, the harder it can be to focus even when you don’t have your phone in your hand. That’s the situation and it’s totally fucked up, but it is what it is.
And, on the other hand – the more you train your stamina to work with focus, the easier it will be to be. So to sum it up: don’t bother with your phone when you’re working, at least during the deep work, and preferably the rest of the day as well. And when you use it, make time for it, and keep time. Do what you want to do: get inspired, connect with others or maintain your account, and do it well. Have fun! But half an eternity of doomscrolling has never really made anyone’s brain happy, to be honest.
8.Fuck it
Did the day not turn out as you planned? Did your phone get stuck in your fist, or did you do simpler tasks like answering emails and tidying up your desk, just to be able to pat yourself on the back and avoid that annoying, difficult and REALLY boring thing you should have done? Welcome to the club, I am an honorary member. But I don’t give up, the next day I’ll go again, and so will you. Because it gets easier with time, life becomes so much easier to live, I promise, but you will never experience that if you let go completely. So hold on, ok?
Yes, this was long as hell, but I really want you to get enough to start making your own changes, for real. Then, of course, there is much more I want to say, which is why I have also collected some in-depth opportunities here:
Book tips
Deep Job and Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned one of these books on my Instagram and here, but there’s a good reason for that. Cal’s books are fundamental to how I work and why I still have my business.
4000 weeks by Oliver Burkeman
A brilliant anti-self-help book that puts everything into perspective and is great for creating some much-needed perspective for those who struggle, struggle and struggle some more and still don’t manage to cross off all your items on the list despite starting a new life every Monday morning.
Psst: You can book *cough cough* me as a speaker for your organization, network or workplace if you feel that you would like to know more about how you can work smarter and make room for what is really important. The lecture is a distillation of all the things I have learned on the subject and tried out myself that have fundamentally changed the way I look at job tasks. I think my experience as an employee in small and large organizations and as a self-employed person will be useful.
