27 Apr Monday with a weird brain
So, how’s your Monday been so far, dear? Up here at We the North it’s been raining and I have been busy all day packing orders and shipping them off to both US and Europe. Its been fun but I’m still a bit tired from the last couple of weeks where I’ve worked more than usual due to the new site, and when I’m tired I get confused, so it’s been a bit chaotic here in my little office. Ever since the burnout four years ago, I handle stress and fatigue differently than I used to. And by differently, I mean worse. My brain sort of get’s into a “holy shit I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m GONNA DIE” mode when pushed just a little bit into the pace and intensity that I used to spend all my working days in before the crash, and that makes up for, well, interesting situations. When things get crowded and I want to speed up and go faster, my brain just shuts down. Okay, not a total shut down, of course, but cognitively I feel lik I lose 70% of my capacity just like that. So weird, one moment I’m on top of the world, loving the pace, the energy and the long to do list, and the next one I can hardly figure out 5+6?
I have learnt am still learning to hit the breaks before my brain does it for me, because funny as it may seem to have a brain that just walks out of the game when there’s just 10 minutes to go, it’s not my favorite part. It just makes me irritated and I blame myself a bit for pushing myself too hard again. I can feel that my brain doesn’t exactly thrive from it, on the contrary, and I don’t want to end up there because I don’t want to get sick again, because that sure sucked. But the thing is, I used to have such a huge capacity, and I miss it. So it’s a bit of a small grief for me, saying goodbye to my old intense self that could tak on anything. But it won’t come back, so there’s that. Also, I guess that my current capacity is pretty okay too, it’s just the comparison that makes it suck.
BUT what I really wanted to write about was that I made a bunch of new affirmation cards today! They are new in my shop, so I guess I have to introduce them a bit: the Ink & Lise badass affirmation cards are 36 different uplifting, handlettererd little coaches to remind you of your own greatness and help you stand steady in this messy world. They are not the romantic carpe diem versions, on the contrary there are swears on almost every one, so perhaps you don’t want to gift them to your grannie, but more to your sister in crime?
Like most of my paper things, I make them myself. When they’re printed and cut, I sort them which was kind of fun with today’s brain – I stood for minutes searching for a special bunch of cards. They all looked the same to me, even though you can obviously see that they don’t, and so can I. Now, I can.
Then I cut the corners a bit to get away from that sharp and pointy edges with a corner cutter – yes I really have a machine for cutting corners, haha.
I pack them with a waistband and colors the heart pink. And: finished!
You can put them on the mirror, in your wallet, hand it as a note to your bestie or just draw one every morning to set the right calm, strong and steady queen mode!
And with that said, me and my weird brain wishes you a great Monday.